Letting Go

by | April 20, 2017 | Law of Attraction

Did you know that the average person has “70,000 thoughts per day”. That’s a lot of thoughts. It’s about 3000 per hour or 50 per minute, just under one per second.

Our good brain/mind combo, being a much better computer than any computer imaginable, has a much better trick up it’s sleeve. It processes data in two separate ranges of the mind, The Conscious & The Subconscious. The decisions you make, like which food to eat, what to wear or how to lie to someone who is questioning you are left to the conscious mind. It processes all the data from your surroundings and continuously thinks about these things. You will be wondering how to solve a financial problem, how to manage time for your doctor’s appointment, how blue the sky is, how handsome or beautiful someone looks, etc. As you may have noticed all these stay in your mind for longer than a second, even for minutes. So the straight answer to how many thoughts per second come to your mind, per second would be a fraction of a thought.

Then there is the subconscious, which I’m wanting to talk about today.

What thoughts are running your life?

A couple of weeks ago I attended a Self Esteem workshop, moretolife.org

I had the honour of connecting with a group of beautiful, mindful souls, spending two days unraveling ourselves, sharing our truths, our stories in a very safe environment. Our coach and facilitator and her team of beautiful woman helped us navigate through the stories of who we thought we were in a gentle, loving and safe way. I walked away from the weekend feeling lighter, more free and mindful and full of hope for the future.

Then two days later, holy moly, I went and picked the boulder back up. I only went and put the bullshit boulder back on my shoulders, WHY?

I was triggered. I already mentioned in my last post about someone fabricating a whole story about me, bringing innocent people into the story and sending me into a spiral of negativity. My choice to go there I know, you’d think I’d know better, but that wasn’t enough. The same person came back, two days after I’d released all the attachments around it all, at the weekend, only this time he wanted to tell me he needed to come clean about a lie he’d told me 1 1/2 years ago, which he then informed me (while I was still taking it all in) that he felt better, because he’d been holding this lie a long time. But guess what? I knew deep down and as I stood there in front of him my thought process went like this. OMG, I knew then that he was lying, I hadn’t trusted my instincts, I let myself be open, vulnerable and honest on hundreds of occasions since. OMG, will I ever learn? On and on the downward spiral went, until I didn’t even trust myself to follow through with writing my blogs, because who am I, and what value could I bring to a like minded tribe of people if I couldn’t even trust myself, if I kept allowing myself to be hurt by this person, because it’s happened so very often and I’ve chosen to trust him over myself and keep him in my world. This world I’m committed to make changes to, for my own growth and personal development, so that I can step into becoming the Life Coach I know I can be. So, after a  week of self abuse (because thats what it is when you’re believing negative stories about yourself, especially when you know you’re a beautiful, honest person, wanting to be of service to others) I decided to put down the boulder again. Because his lie was nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I had to remember the extremes of the beliefs I’d formed of myself as a child, that I go back to when I’m triggered. If I don’t catch them first and love it all, the side of me I keep hidden, because to me it’s ugly, this self-doubting woman, who should be happy all the time, well guess what, I’m not, I’m human, still beautiful and honest, and the opposite to that, unlovable, not liked, not strong. Keeps me from following my path.

Getting back to our weekend, this was the learning.

Self esteem isn’t something to find that you have lost. Self esteem is how we regard ourselves, how we think of ourselves. You may have noticed that you have a voice in your head, some call it self talk, self critic, monkey mind , ego, sub conscious.

It gets shaped by the events of our past. It’s how we’ve begun to think of ourselves through the events of childhood. How we valued ourselves, how our young minds shaped who we are today as adults, how we think of ourselves and through that what patterns and beliefs we’ve put in place to protect ourselves, because for some reason it wasn’t safe to be open or voice them when we were children.

Anger, irritation and doubt are mild forms of unhappiness, the mind saying it’s in an uncomfortable situation, which then triggers a feeling and or reaction.

The human mind provides a function for our survival. Our beautiful minds work in a certain way, and when we are feeling a certain way, our human minds will search the memories for a similar event or feeling. It recalls past memories that interpret what’s happening for us, which tells us who we are. It’s the voice in our minds that chat along with us all day long. The interpretation is not always healthy for us. It can contaminate us, being the programme of patterns and beliefs that were shaped in childhood, so as adults we can tend to react and behave in the same way when we are triggered. It can happen on auto. In my case, I’m not good enough. So our group of beautiful woman came away having awareness of the extremes of thinking. I can be powerful and strong, or weak and unlovable. Either way it’s a part of who I am as a human being. I can make changes to these beliefs over time by having continual awareness, but more than that I can be accepting of these extremes. Going back to my negative default isn’t who I am, but it is a part of me that with awareness I can be more gentle and accepting with, loving all of me, the good, the bad and the ugly. More important than all this to me, which was my golden nugget of the weekend was the spiritual being.

I breathe therefore I am.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience, which requires us to be in the present moment, in touch with our surroundings and mindful. We still have the inner voice to be aware of, but when we are present in any given moment we can set ourselves free from the endless chitchat of the conditioned mind. I breathe therefore I am…  peaceful, connected with Mother Earth. At this moment, what’s happening in my mind, whether it’s about what’s happened before, which is the past, or what’s going to happen, which is the future, (again, we can’t do anything about either, the past has gone and the future hasn’t yet arrived ) the mind becomes quiet and we are just here now without thought. I breathe therefore I AM. Now!! Presence, awareness, mindfulness Now, in this moment, a state of consciousness that transcends thinking.

I’m really serious about my journey. I’ve spent $1000’s on training, walking my walk and up-skilling. I’ve already supported and guided people on their own journeys and have received feedback that has made me truly grateful for my gifts and skills, feedback that has made me cry with pride. I support clients, encouraging them to see their lives from a different perspective which in turn guides them to tap into their true potential, to change their lives in a positive way.

Thank you for letting me share my journey with you. I am a week late (and thats only my belief) but I did follow through with my commitment, to write about my journey of Awakening.

Please feel free to comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Love and kindness

Jane x

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