Courage of Heart
Beautiful souls of the world….
Have you ever got to that place? A place of no return… One door closes and another door opens. New Beginnings. The thrill! The fear!
In the last weeks it has been off the charts. Challenges and anxiety. Compassion and acceptance.
On the full moon under the cloudy sky, the tide coming in, florescence in the waves. Tina Turner blasting in my ear phones. I danced and danced and danced……..
I’ve been triggered again…..
I let go of a part of my life that is no more. Its time blessed one.
The tears I’ve cried these weeks, they just came.
Never underestimate how long the process of letting go can be.
The new chapter begins. “One thing for sure sweet baby, I always take the long way home.” Norah Jones.
She represents my long journey home to myself. My blessed Heart. xx
Over the last month I’ve been a part of Gamechanger.com. A 30 day challenge to fully commit – 100% accountable to changing something I needed to make changes to. How much do you care about how you feel everyday?
We wondered into the science of how the mind works.
I looked into the shadows of who I am, why the shadows were there.
How had I formed a belief around an earlier experience that made me feel a certain way? A belief that was formed at a time when my life is not how it is today. I just hadn’t changed my belief.
How that belief can still play out in the background of my mind today.
We are so much more than the experience or the mistakes.
I dived deep into conscious loving verses co-dependancy.
Where am I showing up in my life. How I can take responsibility for my daily behaviours and actions.
How I allow myself to be influenced by what is happening around me.
I took another dive into microscopic truths.
The broken agreements I’d made with myself and others. How many times I’d said I’m going to start something and hadn’t.
How to be compassionate with oneself while delving deep within oneself.
It’s an ongoing process of the joys and challenges of life.
Its been an amazing experience of growth and expansion. Being a part of a really amazing support team and being Coached into the wholeness of who I am.
Going out of my comfort zone to look at my past hurts with a different perspective and letting go of the story that is not serving me any more.
Stepping into the change I wish to see in the world…
And remembering it can only ever start with me!
I’m sat here on my pouch being inspired by a beautiful day unfolding before me. Grateful that I’m taking the time in this moment to really appreciate the outside world. In this case my garden, listening to the birds. I realise. The courage of heart I’ve shown and practiced everyday to be accountable to myself. Doing the challenge when at times it felt like I couldn’t or I just didn’t want to today. My mind would come up with so many excuses.
I’m sat here feeling blessed. I committed. I showed up for me, even when it wasn’t easy.
In fact its been downright miserable at times. Heaps of times I’ve picked myself up from a pool of tears. 100% being responsible for how I was feeling. Feeling those feelings. How they sat with me. Slowly moving through the emotions to find a better feeling place.
Honouring my behaviours. The words I’d use to self and others. The shadow work was also about how you thought and valued yourself when you were not showing up. The tricks my mind can play.
What behaviours we like to keep hidden. The mask we put on for the outside world every day.
The words I speak and the thoughts I think impacted enormously on the events of my day and how I show up.
I set up an altar in a sacred place in my bedroom and lit a candle everyday, honouring the four elements and leaving gifts to the ancestors. I always have fresh flowers. Making daily prayer. I feel the love. I feel the light. Doing the daily practices. Being present in my body and mind. I invite the life force energy into my space and feel.
May I remember that the healing I require comes from within me.
May I always be sensitive to those around me.
May I help lift the fallen, restore the broken and encourage the discouraged.
May I show the world the power that lies dormant with-in them.
May I help support others find their place in the world in steady glory.
May I remember that I am of compassion and sacred healing light.
May I be my own miracle.
There is so much to be grateful for when we take the time to see, be.
We are so much more than what we think.
I’m feeling immensely blessed. Sat here watching the day unfold.
I’ve had the strength to see. Everything. My behaviours. The people I choose to have around me. I’ve felt the uncomfortable feelings, I’ve kicked and screamed myself through another challenging growth spurt in my journey.
Bringing forgiveness, love, honesty, space and acceptance.
Everything in my life is happening anyway. My last 3 years journey. Flowering almost, out of the grief. Loss. Hurt. Fear.
The letting go of who I thought I was. Being willing to accept I’ll take a few steps backwards again, because chances are I’ll fall back to old patterns of behaviours and thinking. I’m human after all. The difference being I’m gaining more tools to notice when that happens. It’s like the layers of an onion. Peeling one layer away at a time. Stepping into authenticity and consciousness and a whole bigger picture on how we can show up in Life. Layer after layer. Trust. Believe in the purpose. Acceptance….
We have a light shining within us all. The light and Balance of the potential held within and its place in the dream.
Deep down we know the truth of our journey. No matter how much overburden hides it from the light, the essential truth is safe. Yet until the pain of yesterdays and the hurts of today are healed by forgiveness the anger sometimes shrouds the way ahead and cloaks all that might be.
Before I can go out in the world and shine my light I have to take care of my own back garden.
My daily practices of going on early morning walks feeling how my body is responding to the self care. Writing a journal with my microscopic truths. The broken agreements. I’m looking to see how I can make changes to put right the broken agreements I’ve made with myself and others or where can I make another agreement and go in baby steps this time. How am I showing up in the world.
To finally being grateful that I’ve found the courage of Heart to share/speak my learnings through blogs/live posts. Sharing pockets of inspiration with others, even when I’m at my wits end in overwhelm. The unfolding of the twist and turns in our path that we did not give attention to that needed to be opened up with gentle loving care.
With more awareness we can change our thoughts to a truer place.
I’d like to take this opportunity to reach out to all you beautiful souls grieving a lost relationship. How much courage you have shown getting through just another day, doing the best you can.
I send you lots of love and compassion as you move through the over whelming roller coaster ride of emotions. It is not easy.. At times I still find myself looking back…
I’d also like to honour all you Beautiful souls who would like to live with purpose. Who would like to make that difference in your world, coming from the heart centre of who you are. Raw and Beautiful to shine inspiration into the world…. Starting in your own back garden. I’d like to honour and see you, reach out to those starting A new chapter in your life. A new beginning. I’d like you to know I feel your trauma. I see your courage of Heart. And you are not alone.
I leave you with this beautiful Poem.
how does healing happen?
is it…forgetting a little at a time that which hurts
and waking up one morning just feeling a little bit lighter
is it…finally forgiving yourself and the world by understanding,
somehow, we are all wounded with you
is it…realising that the world is whole after all
or accepting that the world is broken open and has need of your love
is it…noticing a whole day, week or month has gone by
without beating yourself up in the old ways that have held you back
is it…being struck by a compassion so tender that you know it must belong to the Beloved
since you don’t recognise this kindness in you
is it…realising that this is just how it is right now and somehow that it is oddly, unreasonably, not personal, or about you at all
this is our human story that we are creating together
can we get ‘free enough’ to create in it, with true personal intention?
is it… not letting your wounded songs hold you back
from that which sings to you from your deepest soul cave
is it…allowing shadow-work and light-work to co-exist
without striving for either one to be greater or better or good or bad
is it…being willing to lean into your resistances
until the edge of your hardened places creates tender spaces
is it…being willing to surrender your cynicism and complacency
even when you know the ridiculousness of the harming going on
is it…opening your heart, yes again and wider still,
to a new face a new heart, yes, a new chance even in the same old life
is it…letting go of making the hard things into stories of meaning about why it went down this way or that,
what if there is no real reason
is it…surrendering enough to allow old patterns to dissolve,
even when they have served you so very well, or so you thought, what if nothing is as you thought it would be or have believed?
it might be something even better, I don’t know, but maybe…
each one of these stories we have talked about here
are ‘fields’ of energy that live within us,
we all know this to be so
will you approach the edge of your cave
and just wave as I walk by beckoning you,
or will you join us in the healing fields of wild flowers
and lay down the burden of what you thought you knew
and just come and open with us to your part in the unfolding mystery
when you are too laden with all the stories of yesterday
it is too crowded to gather your harvest into your arms don’t worry,
everything has become compost and is useful to you
these old stories become legend in no time,
if we tell them everything happens in cycles,
this may have been a longer one than you felt you could survive,
but you did! yes, you did.
I have come for you, take my hand now and rise up, the others are waiting for us to take our place in the circle
I have no idea what will happen but I imagine it will be better than you think
your harvest is happening now, even if you don’t see it just come.
we have been calling your name.
you’ll see, this kind of healing looks different than we thought
we had hoped for a total recovery and peace on earth
instead we have been sent to learn each other’s stories whole
the healed story begins with this dance, yes, this one.
we will start this dance with giving thanks for the bounty
and raising our hands in Praise for the life-giving Beloved
We have arrived in the healing fields
and we will nourish and be nourished here
~ Shiloh Sophia
P.S If you didn’t already, receive your free gift, go ahead to https://janewalterslifecoach.co.nz
With much Love